Leonard J. Arrington on the indefiniteness of Stouffer’s cooking instructions

Last night was the 2010 Leonard J. Arrington Mormon History Lecture. Appropriately enough, the subject of the lecture was Leonard J. Arrington. Among the 30,000 journal pages, Arrington took the time to record the frustrations of bachelorhood cooking.

“My Stouffer’s cooking instructions say ‘place chicken pouch on non-metallic plate and puncture top three or four times with a fork to vent.’ Well, is it three or is it four? If I puncture it three times, what might happen? What if I puncture it four? Would it get too much air on four? Would it explode if it was only three? Why don’t they say what they mean? Then it says ‘heat three to four minutes.’ Ok, should it be three, or should it be four? Will it be undercooked at three or overcooked at four? Or does it depend on the altitude? And why I’m at 4,000 feet should it be cooked three or four minutes? I simply cannot stand this indefiniteness. It’s driving me crazy making these decisions when I’m so ignorant and inexperienced.”

Check out my pseudo-transcript here.

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